There have been numerous times in my adult life that I have been kicked out of a bar, or local Wal Mart. Either way, it is because I do something stupid and am asked not to come back. That's fine. The fun part about bars, though, is you can always find a way to get creative. For example, if I haven't shaved in a few days and I get kicked out, I have been known to walk to the nearest drug store, purchase a razor and baseball cap, and reenter the bar with a new guise; clean-shaven and hatted. Even in some other drunken stupors, I have been cognizant enough to realize that the person who usually asks you to leave is not the man checking IDs at the door. So, after having been thrown out for about 15 minutes, I return. Getting in doesn't seem to be the problem. Staying inside is a job all in itself. Instead of being able to enjoy yourself in your company, you are constantly on the watch for the big muscle-laden guy who answers to Bro, or T-Bone or something gay like that.
Anyhow, I was sitting the other day just thinking about some things and the thought occurred to me. I hope it is as easy to sneak into Heaven as it is to sneak into a bar. Knowing my luck, I would be admitted to Heaven by some mistake, and upon recognition of my less-than-holy self, soon be cast into the deep pits of Hell. But maybe, just maybe, I could use all my earthly knowledge to shimmy my way back into those pearly gates. I sure hope so, because I don't like to be hot. And the whole eternal fire thing kinda dissuades me from wanting to go there. Let's devise a plan to sneak into Heaven. Who's with me!?
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