Friday, March 21, 2008

The time I thought I had Parkinson's

One of my earlier posts, shortly after I started this blog, was one where I asked myself, Do I Have Ulcers? For the time being, no, I do not have ulcers. But as some of you know, or are slowly realizing, I can sometimes be a bit of a hypochondriac. Its a struggle, but sometimes my fears seem to get the best of me.

Scene.

I started a weight-loss blog a few months ago, http://sixpackhopeful.blogspot.com, and it was going well. I kept a track of my progress and it made me feel good to see that results were taking place. Then, two weeks ago, I pulled my quad playing indoor soccer. It wasn't even a game, I was just fiddling around with my cousin. Anyhoo, since then I haven't been to the gym. Therefore, I haven't updated my fitness log, because I wouldn't want to be saddened with what I saw. And I digress. So I haven't been exercising. But I still eat like I have been. My pants are now tighter; the product of cream puffs and nachos. Many, many nachos. So, I have been drinking even more coffee than normal, which is a lot.

Cut to two days ago.

For the past two days I haven't eaten much. Just had no desire for food with all the water and coffee I have been drinking. I thought it beneficial to give the digestive tract a break. But something wasn't right. Sitting at work and looking at the computer screen, I felt my eyes perched open, as though standing at attention. A rush of dizziness tickled me for a moment, then vanished. I reached my arm to grab my glass of water, but I couldn't keep it steady. I grabbed the glass and held it up, shivering like a child in the cold night's air. I looked at the TV. Michael J Fox was on for the Parkinson's Foundation commercial.

Of course.

I have Parkinson's. Michael J Fox gave me Parkinson's.

I didn't know how to tell my family. I spent an entire evening in solitude, coming to grips with what I had just diagnosed myself as having. I poured another cup of coffee - my only true friend in this cold, cold world. More shivers. I couldn't take it. I told my mom, "Mom, I think I have Parkinson's."
mom: (Blank stare)
me: I, I - (sigh).
mom: Are you fucking retarded?
me: I can't deal with this right now

The next day I woke up too late to make coffee. I ate some fruit on the way to work. Presumably, I felt fine. It became readily apparent that I didn't have Parkinson's. I just OD'd on caffeine.

I will forever remember that dreadful day as Parkinson's Wednesday.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. I know that feeling. Too much caffeine and you just lose control. It's like you're a vynle record with a bad scratch.

Tami Daun said...

I'm so sorry if I had to giggle a bit. It isn't meant to be mean, as I have had my own moments throughout the years! hehe...However, it is so strange that it seems comical the day after, but when one is right in the middle of it it feels like a tragedy!

The Josh said...

SOUP: I developed no less than three nervous ticks from that experience. Wild ride.

TAMERA: I hope you giggled! By nature I tend to think the worst possible scenario, so this doesn't come as a surprise...and I'm sure this won't be the last :)

Anonymous said...

That's nothing, my boyfriend recently decided he had diabetes, depression and a gluten allery.