Destined to be with an older woman

The title says it all. But let me explain.

I tend to be attracted to women who are older than I. I always have. I remember being 21 and dating a 26-year-old, and thought it was fantastic. Granted, being 21 I wasn't fully aware of my true life desires, and predictably screwed that relationship right up. Anyhoo, I think it stems from a couple different reasons.

Young girls (as defined here, 18-21 years of age) seem to me immature. If any of you know anything about me, I'm sure you just gasped. I know I'm not always the wisest person in the world. I don't have a steady career and family. Yeah, I still like Fruity Pebbles. What of it? But let's be real. Girls of this said age range want somebody more mature than they (so they think at the time). So, to me, these games never really seemed worth it. I never really found (back in my younger days, of course) somebody worth the time it takes to convince them they like me. But even as a readied young man, I often confused sex with love. Stupid. Like that saying, "If only I knew then what I know now", I would probably be a walking STD. Thankfully, I'm not.

More importantly, I found that these girls didn't know who they wanted or what they were really looking for. And that shit annoys me. So, I think I look to older women for the same reason girls look to older men. Knowledge. Experience. Wisdom. Its all there and extremely attractive.. Side Note: I found it interesting that a blogging friend managed to write about this the other day, on her blog. Check it out. Anyhow, my weekend story:

At the increasingly regular watering hole, Saturday night. I am with AJ. The place is crowded, we order a pitcher and find an empty table in the corner surrounded by a sea of people. Kindly, they allow us use of the table. There are two men and three women. One of the guys is about 6'1" and 245 pounds of muscle. I later find out that he is training to be a cop. The other guy is nothing special, looks like a poor man's Ethan Hawk. One woman is so plain I don't remember her; I just know she is there. There is a blond girl, very attractive, maybe 27 or so. Then there is a woman. Unattractive. Very. They are all playing darts and the unattractive woman comes to us repeatedly to talk. We initiate no conversation whatsoever. For the sake of absurd length, I will condense all mini conversations into one paraphrase. It is as follows:

(crazy): What are you guys doin here in the corner? You're hot. All these girls should be fucking you right now.
(me): Yeah they should. Why don't you go spread the word.
(crazy): Hahaha. You're funny. There are a lot of little hottie ho-bags in here. Why don't you go talk to some?
(me): We just got here and want to enjoy our beer for a minute.
(crazy): Ohhhweee! The beer is kickin in! Goddamn, you ever been with an Oakland girl before? I only have three rules for a man: have a job, have their own place and teeth. I like teeth.
(me): Absolutely not. (Becoming more afraid I am going to get raped) And I live with my mother. I collect unemployment.
(crazy): Well that's okay. You are young enough to get around my rules. (Before I got the chance to completely ignore her, she continued) I'll probably never see you again, so I'm just gonna tell it to ya--
***Note: I have seen, heard and said some very vulgar things in my life. But never have I had somebody be so direct. Call me shallow, but if I was attracted to this person it would still be awkward, but marginally more entertaining.***
---These little hussies don't know how to fuck. Nope. Not a one'em. Me, I like it in the a$$...I like to be spanked hard, slapped around (my stomach starts churning), and if you ask me, the best taste in the world is a nice mouthful of cum (I nearly escape a violent bout of projectile vomit from the way her hands motioned each of these thigs , and in her profile, a hairy upper lip). The way it just drips down your throat, so salty, its just delicious.

I am scarred for life. I like older women, but that just really fucked me up. A nappy-haired 42 year old talking this explicitly, with her voice well above the crowd's managed to get everybody on that side of the bar church quiet while she screamed her most intimate desires.

Before she left she said, "You guys should come to the casino with me. I'll show you what I meant." I responded, "Sorry, I don't gamble. Rule #1."