Friday, November 23, 2007

An Open Letter to United Airlines

Dear United,

My faith in your good service has come to an abrupt halt. You perturb me. I have seen TV commercials and heard of supposed "blackout dates" and "hidden fees", but not until two nights ago did I realize they were, in fact, the most unforgiving manifestation of reality in existence. Trailed by the un-saintly (I am here coining a term) overdraft charges by financial institutions and things of the sort, I never expected a free flight to cost me $85.

I realize that though your marketing and sales gurus (self-proclaimed, I'm sure) believe themselves to be some direct offspring of a conceptual genius, I find your indirect and manipulative shenanigans to be indisputably pathetic. And more so, your customer service leaves something to be desired.

The service representatives are friendly, but in spending anywhere from 7 to 13 minutes deciphering what was actually said, I become rather frustrated. Your representatives should represent your company, who's history and success is rooted deep in American soil, not the concept of cheaper labor. They are trained as mindless drones, reading off a sheet of paper, not answering any questions but instead raising some; like, why the hell am I stuck talking to you? Can you not think for yourselves? Do they lock you in a basement and recite by memory all United's many shotgun responses?

I have earned my 25,000 miles in travel on your airline alone. You tell the consumers that after acquiring 25,000 miles, one is entitled to a free trip in the continental US. I have held my end of the bargain, don't you believe you should do the same? I can understand a $10 charge for booking and taxes and whatnot. I cannot and will not justify giving you $85 for you to do nothing more than to respect your word. You disgust me.

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