OK, OK, you got me. I'm a texter.
Yep, I said it. For the most part I prefer texting to talking on the phone. SERIOUSLY!! Granted, sometimes talking on the phone is necessary, sometimes it's even enjoyable (albeit rarely and in extremely moderate amounts.) I prefer to avoid confrontation whenever possible. 
But you know what really gets my goat?
Do ya?
Over-ecstatic texting. You may be familiar with my already-existing views on text message shortcuts, but this is a little different.
If you are like me - a lost soul with only a passing sense of what's going on around him at all times because you had to move home with your mother, which brought to a very sharp point your already dry, sarcastic sense of humor (so you call it) because you crashed your car into a wall - then you probably have a friend who likes to text even more than you. But that's not so bad.
What gets me is when EVERYTHING they say is SO EXCITING!!!
My example friend, we'll call him Bruce, simply because I don't know anybody with that name and it sounds gangster -- "Hey pretty lady. I'm Bruce. Wanna go back to my mom's place, throw a sock on the door and get this party started?" See, that is irresistible to women, because the guy's name is Bruce. I digress... So my friend Bruce texted me the other day.
Bruce: Hey buddy! What are you doing tonite?? I just got into town, let's hang out later!
Me: ok. call me after dinner.
Bruce: Sweet. We're gonna get CRAZY!
My friend Bruce never gets crazy. He'll have one beer then say he's tired. I know the story. But yet he never fails to get super excited for nothing. If you were to hear the guy speak in person, never once has he gotten THAT EXCITED!!! SERIOUSLY!
But this goes beyond text messaging. At work, where I play solitaire or IM my friends for the good majority of the day, I get instant messages of the same caliber.
Me: Hey, how's your day?
Another person: OMG!!! i can't stand this FREAKING PLACE!! why do i stay?!?!?! and sam called me last night, he was being SUCH an ass!
Me: oh
Them: I KNOW, RIGHT?!?! anyhow, how are you?!?!
Being the largely impatient person I am, that shit gets me really excited, not in a good way. I start sweating, heart beating uncontrollably. I sometimes even pee a little. Why would you do that to me? Why?
Case in point, don't become overexcited with me. I like a good laugh. But if you abuse your privileges you're likely to get a picture text message of my man-piece. It's happened before, and I don't intend to stop any time soon. Exclamation points are for emphasis, not for pissing me off.
For text message faux pas, vote for me Humor-Blogs.com
4 comments:
OMG!!!! This is like the funniest thing I have EVER read!!!!!!!! I looooooooove it!! ;)
Texting - ahhh, that way you can reply at leisure and talk to several people at the same time.
COURTNEY: glad you caught on, and hopefully you aren't that girl
CHRIS: ...or not talk to people. a wise man once told me to ignore my problems, and eventually they'll disappear. i'm still waiting...
I hate the people that text back "k." Really you just wasted ten of my hard earned cents on k? Although I prefer to not talk to people as well, after about five minutes on the phone I start to get all jittery.
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