Immaturity seems to get the best of me

Some things, no matter my age, will always be funny. I am talking about things like midgets, boy bands and social security. Though, other things capture my interest.

Call me an immature asshole with nothing better to do (I have been called worse), but every time I hear the term "wiener," I can't help but to giggle.

Wiener.

Who came up with such a stupid name for a man's piece? And who's bright idea was it to create ballpark franks of somewhat similar size and color? and also to refer to them as wieners?

"Yeah, I'd like a wiener, please."

I hope this is only said at a hot dog stand. If it is in your local watering hole, there may well be a problem with this. Who is saying it? If it is a woman, she is laying it on much too thick. If it is a man, well, he just may scare every other man around him, except the guy in the corner wearing a pink bandanna and flailing his arms while he karaokes "Footloose." I've seen it all. Throw in a pair of cutoff denims and a round of pina coladas, and your diva self will be sure to make an entrance. And I digress.

But seriously, don't play with your wiener.

How do you not laugh?

I also got to thinking about fire, and why it is so funny. Sure, people often lose their homes, their memories. But there is often humor surrounding the situation. Disaster is nature's secret medicine. Terrible things happen, and all you can do is laugh hysterically. Like when you see a squirrel with a burned tail.

Yeah, I'm sure it probably hurt. But why was the squirrel waiting around so long? Squirrels don't hibernate, so I know the little fella was awake. Maybe he was stashing some food.

Or, what I think really happens, maybe the little squirrel young'ns ran off and Mr. and the Mrs. finally had a little time to themselves. You know, maybe they got to tail-locking the good old-fashioned way, up in a tree somewhere. Things started to get hot. Oh yeah, they were hot. And then WHAMMY!

They wanted to continue but the flames wouldn't allow it. Time to grab some nuts for the road? Nope. Where did the kids go? Well, I hope they met up with Aunt Millie in the big Oak on the other side of the park.

"Well," the man squirrel said. "Looks like our exhibitionist days are just beginning."

The Mrs. Squirrel only smiled...her vocal chords were destroyed by the superheated air, which tickled the Mr's fancy. And nobody knows if they ever found their squirrel children...