I love my grandma. Who doesn't, right? But grandma can be a bit of a bully sometimes. It's like she does things sometimes just to see how much of a rile she can get out of somebody. I'd say it annoys me, but I do the same thing. I just now know where I get it. But grandma's hit a rough streak lately.
New Year's Day, she comes over for dinner with the rest of my family. Meekly, she lets out that she got a ticket earlier that day. My mom, cousin and I tried to get out of her what kind of ticket it was:
mom: Mom, what happened?
grandma: I was just driving down the road and I saw the lights behind me.
cousin: Were you speeding, Grandma?
gram: The officer walked up and I said, 'Oh, hello officer. I saw your pretty lights in the mirror. What can I do for you?
me: Seriously?
gram: He asked me for all my papers. I didn't know where to find them. Honey, I don't know these things.
me: Your license and registration?
gram: Yeah. I Showed him these (pulls out a stack of papers). But he said my insurance wasn't in there.
mom: Do you have insurance?
gram: Of course I do! I, well, yeah, I think I do. I paid it last month.
me: Where's your card?
gram: Huh?
me: Your insurance card. Isn't it with your registration?
gram: I don't know. I gave him these.
me: (shuffling through the papers) Gram, these are all old receipts.
gram: Huh?
me: Kohl's receipts. And a Taco Bell receipt, from...2006.
So we finally get out of her that she got a fix-it ticket for no proof of insurance, though he could see that her car was insured. Then this last Thursday, I got a call about 5:45 p.m.
gram: Honey, I've been in an accident.
me: Are you alright?
gram: I'm fine [brief pause] but Ernestine, they're taking her away on a stretcher.
At that point I grabbed the mom and headed down the road. Of course, it had to happen at a busy time of day. And of course, it had to happen at one of the most congested intersections in town. We arrive to quite the scene - two ambulances, four police cars and a fire engine. Luckily, nobody was seriously injured, but we took her to the ER, just in case.
me: [in the ER, waiting for the doc to come back with CAT scan results] What happened gram?
gram: I don't know. We were just going down the road and all of a sudden a big boat of a car stopped right in front of us!
me: Was it moving, or was it already stopped?
gram: I don't know, sweetie. Me and Ernie, we were just so high on Jesus. Singing his praises, then that BOAT appeared. Did you see how large it was? We should have slid underneath it.
I saw the other car. It was a Toyota Prius. Not a big car by any means, and certainly no bigger than grandma's car.
So grandma has been staying with us for the past week. You can have a conversation with her, talking right to her face and she will always reply with, "what?" or "Who?" or, my favorite, "eh?" But when she's 30 feet away, in a different room, and you whisper something about her, she can sure hear that. Silly grandma.
10 comments:
I liked that one, Josh. :-)
Doesn't sound like Silly Grandma should be driving a car. ;) (I'm sorry for the emoticon; it's becoming my signature.) ;) (See?)
Grandma's are funny that way! my grandma was hard of hearing, but as soon as you said her name she became Steve Austin.
There is nothing scarier than old women in a car who are high on Jesus!
(But I still think I would like your grandma.)
haha! High on Jesus, eh? I can just picture her in that state.
My grandmother, back when she was only a mother, once backed into a gasoline pump. The experience so unnerved her, she never drove a car again!
My grandfather had to drive her everywhere, and he was a salesman who was gone five days a week.
Yeah, she's a good one!
that's a good one! grandma oh grandma..
I don't know what's more frustrating: grandparents who are fine to get around by themselves but always want rides from family, or those who shouldn't be driving but don't agree ... scary! What a hilarious story - your grandma sounds like a real personality.
Lol my gran is just like that, great blog btw!
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