Ok, enough already

Really, it's getting old. And on a lighter note, you're just making me look bad.

Why can't star athletes make up their minds? Yes, for the 10 seasons they play they attract fans, dazzle the cameras and just make the entire sporting experince that much better.

And I'm cool with that.

What I'm not cool with is when, after years of dedicated service, they retire...and then come back from retirement. I don't like it because it's never the same after. NEVER.

Take Michael Jordan -- one of the greatest players of all time. Leaves the Bulls to go play baseball. We said our farewells, bade him adieu. But then he came back. No more #23. No, no no no. #45. And what happened? It wasn't the same. Then he switched teams and shit just went downhill.

And Barry Bonds...really? 762 career home runs. A one-year contract for $15.8 million in 2007. And you're telling me you don't want to just kick it from now on? I don't know if he took steroids and for this matter I don't really care. But, if he did take them, wouldn't it just be easier to take them, work out all day and not have to worry about the media or perjury charges?

Let's take a look at Brett Favre. The man is a surgeon with the football. A couple weeks ago I was at a park and saw Brett there just tossin the pigskin with some guy. A woman on the other side of the park was sitting on a bench breast-feeding her child. Brett got a little glare in his eye and chucked the football, knocked the baby clean off the teet and threw his hands up like he just won a prize. The mother started to get angry, but once she realized who threw the football, she threw her hands up and screamed, "That was AMAZING!", her bare bosm bouncing gently in the breeze.

To be honest with myself - and also you, my loyal readers - that story may or may not have happened. See, I've never been to Wisconsin. I've never seen Brett Favre in person. But my point is this: we get it. You were amazing athletes. This has been your goal in life since you were 13 years old. And that's admirable. Do us all a favor and take your bijilions of dollars, go buy an island in the Caribbean and play naked beach football with the Playboy bunnies. That sounds a little more enjoyable than being hit by a 300-pound lineman. I dunno, that's just me.

You'll always have your legend. But once you say you're done, then that's it. But stop making me look bad.

The only thing I've dreamed about since puberty is retirement, and now you rub it in my face. No more deceit. I can't take it.